This week I have been reflecting on one of the stories about Jesus and his 12 disciples. The story is found in Mark’s gospel and tells of the aftermath of Jesus journeying with his disciples. It seems that as they journeyed the disciples were arguing, for Jesus asked, “What were you arguing about on the way?” I love that Jesus asks “what” and not “why”. It seems Jesus knows that arguing will be part of life, even for those who follow him.
Mark goes on to tell us they were arguing about who was the greatest among them and the disciples seem to know this is not a good thing because they are ashamed to tell Jesus. So Jesus teaches them a truth: “Whoever wants to be first, must be the servant of all”. Then he takes a child and tells them they must be like children. Children in that time were the lowest of the low: no power, no status, vulnerable and only valued for what they might become as earners and producers and good citizens.
Which leads me to ask “Why were they arguing along the way?” I think they were arguing because they were struggling with what Jesus was teaching. Not long before this Peter, one of the disciples and arguably one of the closest disciples to Jesus, had declared that Jesus was the Messiah (the chosen one from God, whom the people had been waiting for) and in response, Jesus told them to keep quiet and tell no one. Jesus knows this declaration brings the possibility of misunderstanding.
Jesus then goes on to foretell his suffering and death and Peter gets angry, telling Jesus not to talk like this. Jesus then turns to Peter and calls him Satan, and then he tells him to “get behind him”. I sense that Jesus is tempted to take the way of instant glory and avoid suffering, and I think the disciples are really starting to struggle.
Why keep it quiet and why talk of suffering: surely as followers of the Messiah, they could bask in the glory of this great man. They are tempted by envy and ambition and I think they are arguing because they are discovering a harsh truth: it’s not going to be the way you might have thought it would be, and I think we do the same.
In the second half of the last century, we went on quite a journey as a race. All sorts of possibilities came our way, and we started to dream dreams of being more powerful and comfortable than those who had ever lived before us. In the words of Jesus, we thought we could “gain the whole world”. It is fair to say that envy and selfish ambition drove our race, along with “hubris”: excessive self-confidence. We believed we had mastered the world.
Then it all started to come crashing down, first as economic certainties began to become less certain, then as we discovered that the planet was paying a heavy price for the abuse we had given it and latterly as powerful tyrants started to abuse their people and more recently, take land that was not theirs to possess. This is not what we expected, and we have got angry.
But are we angry, or are we grieving? Grieving the loss of what we dreamt it was all going to be about. This also happens for us as individuals, when life is harsh and painful. It may show itself as anger, but in truth, it is often that we are grieving for life not being how we might dream it would be.
Into this, Jesus speaks with a small child in his arms. This dream of power and glory and a comfortable life is not the dream you need to pursue. You need to live the life you have, not some fantasy that you held up as a blueprint. We need to remember that we share the planet where there is another dream, the dream of the ones who are vulnerable and suffering because of our desire for power, and they reveal to us what is true: life is about vulnerability and dependency, all wrapped up in hope and possibility.
Jesus said to the disciples “If you welcome this child, you welcome God.” This is how God is known; this is how we are called to live.
May you know God with you this week.
Rev Anne
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